Amy Nessel - Survivor, Breast Cancer

When my oncologist told me about my advanced diagnosis, I felt like the floor dropped out from under me.  Who was he talking to?  I felt great.  Why was he talking about maintaining my quality of life?  I was as happy as I have ever felt and I was having about as much fun as I have had in a long time.  How could this be happening?  I am the mother to a scrumptious little boy and have my whole life in front of me.  I just could not metabolize the news.

My whole concept of time shifted - time simultaneously stood still while flashing before my eyes.  In an effort to make sense of everything, I began the process of linking minutes into hours and hours into days, days into weeks and weeks into months.  Now, 10 months into the process and feeling great- as good I not better than the day I was diagnosed, I have a deep commitment to living in the moment and a renewed sense of time.

On that cold, rainy February morning, a day and a half after my diagnosis, I walked with my brother the 5 miles from my house to my first treatment in town.  As an athlete, it was the only thing that made any sense to me.  It was the only measure I had that I was doing well.  Exercise became a way of feeling like myself- young, alive and strong.  Since that day, I have not missed a week of walking to treatment with the company and support of a dear friend.

On July 24th, 5+ months into my treatment, I rode in my 2nd CT Challenge, but my 1st as a Survivor.  As I rode, the same mantra held true- pedal strokes into feet, feet into yards, yards into miles towards a finish line that defines accomplishment, offers an amazing sense of community in support of Survivorship and celebrates how amazing it is to be active.

I ride so that I feel alive, so that- despite my diagnosis, I live the life I want to live.

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