Open Letter to Survivors from Survivors

January 13, 2010

Maybe today is the day you have heard the words, “You have cancer”. I remember being so scared and in a state of shock. How could this happen to me? I was 45 years old and had stage IV Thymoma. Why did this happen to me? I felt so alone. Be assured, you are not alone.

Maybe tomorrow is the day of your first chemo treatment. I prepared as well as I could. I read everything about the drugs I was about to receive. I sort out and spoke with people that had gone through a similar treatment. I asked as many questions as I could to my doctors and the oncology staff. The oncology nurses are a great source of information. Ask them as much as you can. My wife and one of my best buddies came with me on my first day. Support was key me. Do not be afraid to ask people to come with you as it can make the whole process much more bearable. I was scared on this day. I walked into the chemo room and there were dozens of people. Older, younger, men, women, all shapes and sizes were sitting there and receiving treatment. Their courage was infectious. It was a defining moment. I was not alone and be assured you will not be alone.

Maybe tomorrow you are scheduled to have surgery. Perhaps it is minor or perhaps it will take 7-8 hours like it did for me. Where the chemo started the job, the surgery will really enhance the attack on this beast. I literally told my cancer the day of my surgery that if “you think chemo made you feel bad and started to kill you off wait until this guy in a mask and a really sharp knife comes after you”. At this point, cancer was personal for me. It invaded the lives of my family and friends. It made my kids cry because they thought their Dad could die. The gloves were now off I was going to kicked cancer’s butt. Make it personal and go after the beast. Be assured, you too can also kick cancer’s butt.

Maybe tomorrow you are scheduled to have your first radiation treatment. Perhaps you are feeling a bit beaten up at this point. You are tired and maybe your hair has not yet returned from the chemo treatments. Maybe you are cold all the time or perhaps just feel really terrible. Maybe you have been coughing for months and fighting infections. There has been a lot of pain and perhaps visits to the ER. You want this treatment to be over. You have been through enough but cancer is a tough opponent. Cancer can be elusive. Cancer hates radiation. Take as many deep breaths as you can just before and after a radiation treatment. This helped calm and relax me. As hard as it may seem, going day after day, keep going. Keep trying. Do not let cancer dictate the battle. You dictate the battle. Kick cancer’s butt.

Maybe someone has suggested some alternative therapies like Reiki, Yoga, or Thai Chi. I would encourage you to try these options. The mild exercise or the relaxation was a gift for me. It was a moment to get away from the realities and pain of cancer treatment.

Maybe tomorrow is your first 3 or 6 month checkup after finishing your treatment. You are scheduled for a scan then you will see your doctor. You are nervous and scared to hear the words “it is still there”. Be strong. You have been through so much and you are in control. No matter what the news is you will decide how to deal with it – not the cancer.

Maybe today someone will seek you out to give guidance on how you dealt with your diagnosis, treatment, and overall survivorship. It might be someone that was just diagnosed themselves and needs to hear from someone that has gone thru what they are about to go thru. It will be someone that wants to be assured that they are not alone. Hold their hand. Share what you can. Give them hope and courage to go through what you have been through. This is the point in the story where your suffering can help someone else. For me, it is the only justification for my suffering and the suffering of my family. So help someone if you can. You have knowledge that can help another fight this beast. Your help will justify the pain, I promise.